.....

blah. honestly don't know what the hell to do. so many things I want to do, or say. so many mixed emotions  swirling around inside, feels like I'm going to explode. and there's nobody I can actually talk to about it, its not like I need to get things off my chest all that often, and I worry about pissing off, or losing friends or whatever when I do. the one friend that actually listened to what I had to say, passed on recently. anyone else that I should be able to talk to either don't have time, or whatever, or when they do stop and listen, its like talking to a damn brick wall. always been there for everyone, love how that favor is returned. so I'm trying to let it out on here, and its not working, can feel myself choking it down, just like I always do, in text, or spoken words, just choke it down, smile, and say its ok